March 11, 2016


Where I stand on negative comments from internet trolls.
burgundy bomber
Reward Style Javascript

People who have things going for them- who are beautiful, or cool, or getting a good degree, or running a business, or in a great job, or just simply happy, hardly ever leave negative comments online. There are so many times I’ll scroll past an outfit that I don’t like, or a selfie that I didn’t think was flattering, but never have I felt it necessary to leave a comment expressing that. Because, firstly, I don’t have time for that.  Secondly, if it’s not positive energy, why spread it? And lastly, I’m just not too obnoxious, self-absorbed and narcissistic to realise that other people’s worlds do not revolve around me and my perception. I’m sure you don’t always like my outfits, and you just close the browser and hope that the next blog post is better.

I’m very good at ignoring the trolls. Especially the ones who throw around comments like ‘ugly’. Because those people are hurting, and they never are the good-looking or successful ones. Therefore, I only ever feel sympathy for them. Earlier this week, someone left such a comment on an Instagram picture of mine here and quite a few of my followers defended me. I thought that was so sweet! All I felt was complete love and happiness about the fact that I’m building such a loyal following who will go out of their way to put some silly girl in her place. I even had to tweet my pure elation about the situation.

Can women just stop bringing women down please? It’s not cute, it’s not cool, it’s corny, it’s lame, and I find it difficult to believe that it even helps your dwindling self-esteem. Stop it right now. You’re dividing the army and fucking up the formation. There’s a difference between constructive criticism and hating and I can tell the difference. I accept constructive criticism and even if I might not always agree with it, I recognize that it wasn’t coming from a bad place. If I admire a woman, it doesn’t even occur to me to hate on her. I want to celebrate her, I want to learn from her and sometimes, I even want to build a relationship with her. Hence, Top Girl.

Last night, some girl on twitter was trying to be funny and quoted a tweet that had a photo of me from the post yesterday with some silly words about how I was wearing a blanket. I knew she was doing it for retweets and some cheap laughs. But, I was in the mood to shut her down. That’s another thing we have to stop doing- ridiculing other people for cheap thrills and retweets. I responded and my twitter fam were pretty impressed and hyped about my clapback, especially as I never clap back. It was all really funny and all fun and games. But this morning, a girl who was also trying to support me dug out pictures of the hater where as you would expect, she didn’t have the best style (I told you, girls with cute style don’t hate) and challenged her for coming at me. I appreciated the support and I really appreciate every single time someone shows me love. However, it just made me feel a little uncomfortable as I felt we had taken it to a place where it was no longer funny, but actually quite mean. I ended up feeling guilty and sorry for this poor girl who came at me, who probably has really low self-esteem and was just trying to use me to get some attention and affirmation.

Basically, what I’m saying is that I ended up feeling bad for clapping back at this girl and next time, I’ll (try to) just be silent. An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.

13 thoughts on “NEXT TIME, I’LL BE SILENT”

  1. Tashpantz says:

    Love this post! And it’s come at such a good time because I was just saying to someone today that “a candle doesn’t lose its light by lighting another candle”! We can all win and we can definitely always help and inspire others and if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all! You’re amazing and that’s all that matters!

  2. Bis says:

    You radiate so much positive energy Fis! Love it! and yes an eye for an eye will def make the world blind. Ignore ’em. X

  3. Maranatha says:

    I deal with internet trolls a lot being a beauty blogger. Yesterday, on my YouTube, someone called me “a ghetto little girl”. I deleted the comment and laughed because i know i’m definitely not ghetto. Another person said a mean thing to me on YouTube today and I clapped back (constructively) because i was tired of deleting comments. lol! the person didn’t reply though.

    1. Fisayo Longe says:

      Girl, I just checked out your channel. Thank you for doing the video about Ben Nye banana powder. I bought it early last year and I was like ‘Erm, howwwww?!’ I don’t even know where it is anymore. Thanks for The Topaz suggestion, and thanks for your work 🙂

  4. Tracy says:

    I pretty much feel the way you do. If it’s something I don’t like I don’t comment. Why spread negativity? Don’t be too hard on yourself, there are days you simply can’t take it anymore. I don’t spend too much time concerning myself with the people that don’t like me…I’m too busy having fun with the people that do.

  5. Abi says:

    I know you think I take credit for everything good but I sure take credit for this great upbringing.. Proud of you boo!

  6. Aïchatou Bella says:

    Wow, the wine color hues looks incredible on your skin tone. Very well put together.



    There is definitely room for everyone at the top, so there is no need to belittle, trash, hate or step on one another to earn recognition and fame. We women are stronger than we really think we are if only we stay UNITED. Thank You lady for these amazing words and blog post. That 5 week break bounced you back really good….

  8. Wasidah Francois says:

    Perfection doll love it

  9. Filomena says:

    Negative and unnecessary comments are amazing to me. They serve no purpose and people still spend time putting them out into the universe. Sometimes any activity sounds better than addressing your own issues or contemplating the fact that our own lives might be miserable so we choose to share the misery. Very sad. I don’t think you should feel bad for clapping back but you could have called your follower out as well and reiterate the need to promote positive behaviour so that the cycle of hate doesn’t continue. I’m sure the true followers would appreciate that and not take it negatively.

  10. Dami says:

    🙂 you have a sweet soul, I started feeling sorry for her too. I hope your work takes you to great places

  11. What's Haute says:

    I love that last quote: “An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.” So good and so true! Kudos to you for being the bigger person. Love your style, by the way. 😉

  12. Damaris Ramabulana says:

    They cant stand your shine sister princess!!!we ought to hope they can find healing and hope for their true ambitions.You are living their dreams in reality..All i can say is thank you for living your best life,truly inspiringBlack beauty you are sister girl.

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